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How to Actually Let Go

By Ron van Helvoirt on Feb 10, 2021  ❘  4 min read

This week, I am supposed to plop my butt in front of the computer to write something about Letting Go. But this was supposed to “promote” my new website and my work as a (business) coach and expert in giftedness as well.

To be clear, Letting Go as a part of real transformation is something fundamentally different from change management and not just for gifted people; it can be learned by anyone.

Here are some of the challenges I’ve experienced in real transformation to Let Go, plus four tips I’ve learned that help to come to amazing new insights.

I notice that a transformation to another perfective has started. The need for mutual cohesion is palpable. A new phase in our lives. We must become whole again with the meaning of life. But how to do this?

Why transformation and, in particular, Letting Go Is a Common recurring theme?

Letting go is a complex process. And because that complexity is within us, the whole process starts with realising that. We simply did not learn to think things through and formulate our own opinion. So, know what you are getting into by starting this process!

Problems are a product of our thinking and not of the reality. It takes courage to search for that deep self-meaning. Not our favourite activity as a person, if I may say so myself. Like most people, I am not unfamiliar with the problems of life and personal choices that I keep postponing. While I know, that doing something with your heart is the solution for a happy life.

You may call it spiritual; I am calling it logical thinking. Based on scientific research and literature. Important for business teams and executive boards. We are losing meaning and love fastly. The truth is socially, not scientifically. So, the solution will certainly not come through more measuring, steering and controlling by the meritocratic technocrats. To reach solutions, a different perspective is necessary. The truth comes from you and for that you have to know yourself and dare to let go. Then a state of not-knowing and wonder reveals itself and things happen naturally. Not only in you, but also in companies. Simply because you are part of it. Through your transformation, you transform the world.

I believe that it is possible for everyone, each in their own way, to find a way to stop being confused by the world of facts.So, start that reflection now, on your deathbed is a bit late… And honestly, a condition of not knowing, I find that quite liberating.

In order to share my personal experiences and the experiences I have had with others from my coaching practice and business clients, I have designed a programme: Transformational Shift Model. This coaching-model has 4 levels: Me, the other, the field between me and the other (QI-field) and insights (old cases with a new look).

4 Tips to Start with Letting Go

  1. False consciousness
    During our lives, we are constantly influenced by others. Because of this, paths have become ingrained that we are barely aware of. But they do determine our behaviour and thus stand in the way of the birth of something new. I call this "false consciousness". How often do you wonder if what you observe is what you really see?
  2. Look inward
    Learn to look inward rather than outward and forward. By reflecting on your experiences, you become aware of your beliefs. These beliefs, or rather inhibitions, have an important influence on our behaviour. How well do you know yourself?
  3. Dis-comfort
    Stepping out of your comfort zone is not as easy as you are often told. I know this from my own experience and the many exercises I have done. Opting for the existing seems attractive but it does not get you anywhere. Income and material interests often play an unconscious role in this. However, your development potential lies in your dis-comfort. That is for sure! When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone?
  4. Non-linear process
    Decide your own future, otherwise someone else will do it for you. Letting go is not a linear process or something that happens suddenly. Transformation and being able to let go is a gradual process. You are learning while you keep on moving forward. You are learning that the whole is more than the parts together. You do not need to hold on to something that is not yours.

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Let Go